There's a premise I'd like to share before starting my personal discussion. This idea is that there are two world views: 1) The world view of those who do not have to worry about basic necessities. 2) The world view of those that do have to worry about necessities. The world is not the same place for either of these views. The key difference being the number of choices/opportunities the persons possess. The Stoic recognizes how easily he can move from one view to the other and disciplines himself to neither be broken or falsely assured by either transition. To disclose, I do not have to worry about basic necessities in the short term. This combination of my prosperity and knowledge of its fleeting nature has left me with a feeling of responsibility towards those struggling beyond myself. The dilemma I've had my entire adult life has been the question, "What do I do now that I'm taken care of that pays respect to the realities of my and others' (American) life?" This question becomes increasingly difficult to answer in a place where you see everything as broken. This is not the broken that is fixable, but the broken that must be replaced.
Within the last year, I received a Master's degree in Childhood Education (grades 1-6). Becoming a public school teacher is my attempt to be part of something positive and to create personal meaning for myself in terms of work satisfaction. Despite my cynicism, I could see myself finding that satisfaction in the work once I became experienced and could create a proper classroom. However, there would be a certain blindness and blissful ignorance I'd have to impose upon myself to accomplish that. I'd have to pretend that those who are making the important decisions in education aren't totally disconnected from what human beings need to flourish. I'd need to ignore that schools are, in many lights, institutionally inhumane, abusive and demoralizing to the student. It's really hard for me to ascertain what is really the function of schooling. Do you learn anything? Sure, but what is left after you consider what you forget and what you never use/need/care about? Do you really need twenty years(pre-K through Master's) of theoretical learning before you attempt a profession? Ludicrous. Don't forget the hundreds of thousands of dollars spent on each person in those 20 years. Education is an industry that you come out of knowing how to...take tests. Anyways, I could keep ranting, but the point is to highlight how, in America, even trying to do something that should be noble and satisfying is perverted and corrupted.
The dilemma being, as always, what do I do now? I could put aside my philosophical differences with schools and commit to being an entity inside of schools that does its best to bring something human to what can feel and become inhuman. This was my first instinct upon moving into teaching. I convinced myself that I could eventually climb to a position of power (principal/superintendent) and create policy that would improve the experience and enrichment of my students. The reality I see inside of schools is that the ability to make that kind of difference is shrinking everyday. Schools have had the bottom line business model imposed upon them in the form of test scores instead of profits. I've been trying to examine this model of thinking. Consider this analogy:
-I work in a Nazi Work/Death Camp. I take part in all the day to day functions that I'm responsible for. Maybe I don't pull any triggers or turn any switches, but I'm part of the system. However, every day I bring some of the Jews some food or some medicine or some other helpful item. Am I really serving the Jews by giving them these scraps of sustenance in an otherwise awful existence? Or could I do something more for them by leaving and maybe helping those who haven't been brought to camps? The question I'm trying to answer being, "Can you really serve a positive purpose from inside a dysfunctional and failed system?" It's really a hard question to answer.
This question is not only applicable to my career dilemma but to most parts of American life. How much does my participation make me complicit in this mess we've created? My taxes go towards all these failed ideas. At what point do you need to divorce yourself from the system as much as you can in order to be healthier and say something about what is going on with your own actions. Don't people need to start living their solutions instead of just suggesting them?
If you interested more in the education topic, I recommend this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDZFcDGpL4U&feature=player_embedded#at=689
I went the standard 12 years in education and then 2 at college level and later 2 getting an asso. degree. 16 years in all of formal education. While I remember most all of my teachers there are 3 that stand out from the rest. 2 were science teachers one an english teacher. What they all had in common was a passion for their subjects and an ability to transfer that passion to their students. Through how they spoke and acted while communicating I took a more intimate look at what they were saying.
ReplyDeleteI suppose my reaction to them, in part, had to do with my attraction to the subject being taught but the reason these 3 stand out is because they lit a fire in my mind with their passion.
I don't think you can ever know if the message/ words/ ideas you communicate to someone will light a fire or quickly smolder out but I know for a fact that if your message is passionate you can count on someone somewhere at sometime listening and that fire will be passed along.
As a stoic you already know that we can not expect to change the world, only to do our part to help bring about a change. Whether you stay in the system or seek a path (and a statement) outside of it, as long as you make an honest attempt for change, you will have succeeded. Perhaps the only decision is: where can you make an attempt for change suited to your particular talents?
IMO,
A fellow Stoic
Everyone has had that experience with teachers where a certain person will ignite something inside you. Three is probably close to the amount of times that's happened for me as well. If I'm going to be a teacher, I want to be one of the three. That's a great way to look at it.
ReplyDeleteThe other way to look at it is that we participate in a system that relies on pure coincidence to match us up with a teacher that inspires us with a success rate of about once every five years.
Your question about doing something suited to my talents is a good one. I'm considering starting a tutoring business. That's more authentic education plus it's something I know I'm proficient at. Thanks for reading and the comment.
A balanced look is the best, agreed.
ReplyDeleteYour business sounds like a grand idea! Buck the system and start your own where you know you can have a good impact --and the best chance at change. And for that, I should Thank You.