I Prefer

    The Stoics make a wonderful distinction when it comes to how we pursue material things, pleasure, life itself and all other things that they define as being "apparently good". For instance, wealth is something that most people seem to gravitate towards naturally and is apparently good. Wealth, however, has no intrinsic power to make one's life good as opposed to virtue (the source of true good). The opposite of virtue and the only bad things in life would be the vices. All the rest in the middle is indifferent since it can neither bring you good or bad. Even life and death are indifferent since they are merely transitions into and out of phases we must all enter and leave. Whether the virtues and the vices are all that matter is a conversation for another day....

     This distinction that is made is that many of these apparent goods (money, ability, health) which are indifferent can also be preferred. For me, the power of that statement is apparent and abundant. The power is in the point of view. Take this silly example. You're at a restaurant and you're going to order a hamburger. There's no mention of cheese or cheeseburger anywhere on the menu. You say to the waiter, "You know what, I'll take the hamburger, but I'd prefer to have some cheese on it. If you don't have it, that's fine". Or you could complain to everyone about not having any cheese or decide that a plain hamburger simply isn't good enough for your fussy palate. Which person do you want to be? 

    The point is that we cultivate a certain ease and peace of mind when we simply prefer something opposed to desiring it and seeing it as something that is essentially good in our lives. We're able to let it go and we're able to accept its absence. In a word, we prevent becoming a slave to this object or state or desire. This is how Seneca responds to the criticisms levied against his wealth in his essay On the Happy Life. The opening of this quote is Seneca giving voice to the questions of one of his critics.

'Why, then,' you say 'do you mock me, since you give wealth the same status as I do?' Do you wish to know how differently we view it? In my case if wealth slips away, it will deprive me only of itself, but you will be struck dumb, you will think you have been deserted by your own self, if it leaves you; in my eyes wealth has a certain place, in yours it is centre-stage; to sum up, my wealth belongs to me, you belong to yours.

    

Philosophical Punch in the Mouth, Vol. #1

As I've read various Stoic authors, I've come across many sections of writing that perform two functions. The first being a raw deliverance of the truth that stinks of reality so harshly that it burns away your nostril hair. The second function being a style of delivery that calls you out where you are put in a Neo-esque position of choosing between the comfortable lies you tell yourself everyday or dislodging your cranium from your rectum. That feeling of discomfort and simultaneous realization is what I equate to taking a philosophical punch in the mouth.

This is the first such section I've decided to highlight in the blog. This comes from Seneca: Letters From a Stoic, Penguin Books (181-182).

"So the spirit must be trained to a realization and an acceptance of its lot. It must come to see that there is nothing fortune will shrink from, that she wields the same authority over emperor and empire alike and the same power over cities as over men. There's no ground for resentment in all this. We've entered into a world in which these are the terms life is lived on - if you're satisfied with that, submit to them, if you're not, get out, whatever way you please. Resent a thing by all means if it represents an injustice decreed against yourself personally; but if this same constraint is binding in the lowest and the highest alike, then make your peace again with destiny, the destiny that unravels all ties. There's no justification for using our graves and all the variety of monuments we see bordering the highways as a measure of our stature. In the ashes all men are levelled. We're born unequal, we die equal. And my words apply as much to cities as to those who live in them. Ardea was taken, and so was Rome. The great lawgiver draws no distinctions between us according to our birth or the celebrity of our names, save only while we exist. On the reaching of mortality's end he declares, 'Away with snobbery; all that the earth carries shall forthwith be subject to one law without discrimination.' When it comes to all we're required to go through, we're equals. No one is more vulnerable than the next man, and no one can be more sure of his surviving  to the morrow."

What a great reproach against two things that are an abomination to our existences: 1) whining and complaining about life. 2) attempting to transcend our shared fate with material things and these legacies which  die with those who were around us.

Grace

     If I had to pick one description of how I think a Stoic should be pictured, I wouldn't make it impervious or unfeeling or disconnected. Those descriptions are false perceptions by people who haven't taken the time to truly know what Stoicism means. The term I would choose would be grace. How uncommon it is that we hear about someone being attributed with grace aside from athletes and dancers. It would seem we've lost sight with what it means to be emotionally and intellectually graceful in our thoughts and actions.

     Grace has multiple meanings that all fit seamlessly into the aspirations of a Stoic. For instance, all of us have been at a dinner table where someone has said grace or a small prayer of thanks for the food. If you are any kind of observer of reality, you will see the sense in being thankful and appreciative of your next meal. I've not missed a meal in my 32 years unless by choice, but until I started practicing the thought of being without food or even a table to eat it at I've never appreciated my meals so much.

    Grace might also mean being in a state of favor with the almighty (something is almighty but I'm not quite sure what it is). The fact that you're reading this right now is all the proof I need of your state of grace. How so? First and foremost, chance or divinity decided to arrange a few billion particles and make them into you. Since you've not killed yourself yet, I see you find this to be a fine place to stay. Aside from that, you've got working eyes, someone took enough interest in you to teach you to read, and you've got a working internet connection. It would be a shame to think you didn't appreciate any of those things I've listed when we well know they won't be yours for long.

   Grace also means to show mercy and to pardon others. I don't know how this wasn't obvious to me for so long when I expected nothing less from others toward myself. When you eliminate all your imperfections and vices, I'll grant you the privilege of scorn. Until then, chill the fuck out.

    Lastly, grace is the model when must strive for when life is made difficult. In being graceful, we are hardly shaken and far from broken by anything we encounter. We don't find fault in anything but our own judgement and our failure to be more prepared to accept what happens. When does grace begin? You know that 2 second rush of chemicals in your body after you're surprised, scared, or disappointed? Right after that.

Control

    If you've read any Epictetus, you've undoubtedly been beaten over the head by the idea of what is in our control and what is not in our control. If you have not, the short version is that we can control our thoughts/opinions and we cannot control anything else. The logic that follows from that premise is that if we can control only our thoughts, then we should focus all our concern and efforts into making our thoughts/opinions into the best state they can be for what I see are two reasons. The first reason is that the quality of our existence and actions is a product of our thoughts. If you want a good life, then you can find it inside your head and nowhere else. I'll relate the second reason with a story of my friend, Jeff. When it comes to placing a wager, Jeff refuses to place the wager unless he is fully confident of the outcome. While I don't usually share the same conservatism for the sake of entertainment, I find his logic to be outstanding. This relates to Stoicism because consider concerning your mind with some matter (a car, the environment, a relative) that is not your thought/opinion. In essence you are making a wager with your mental health since, ultimately, you do not control those items and you may experience a negative outcome. The Stoics have the same line of reasoning as Jeff in saying that they will not place any mental wager that they are not assured the outcome of.

    This idea is probably one of the deficiencies of Stoicism in terms of attracting people. Not because it doesn't make sense but because it is either confusing or threatening to their current beliefs. The question I would put towards those who think this idea is foolish is, 'What is so foolish about the idea of increasing your chances for happiness by putting it in your hands and limiting the factors that influence it to one?' Shouldn't a simplified plan with only one variable be more likely to succeed than one dependent on many outside factors? How many people go and get married with the idea that it will make them happy? We know the statistics on that dispute the intended result. The culture in America is designed for us to chase the things outside ourselves as the fulfillment of the good life instead of looking inward. The rest of the blog will be visually devoted to making this idea less confusing and perhaps a little more palatable and persuasive. One of the latest internet memes has been to use charts or graphs to present a joke (of which I've added one). I'm making my own chart about control for all the visual learners.

This graph is my representation of the control we have over the events in our life based on when they happen to us:

    Obviously, there is no control to be had over past events. We should all slap ourselves on the wrists every time we begin dwelling on the past. It is really hard to think of something more foolish unless your thoughts are about how you could have handled yourself better. As we move to the current moment we gain a sudden burst of control. Nothing major. We can choose to do certain things with our bodies or say certain things and most importantly we can establish our opinions on the current situation. And I think I'm being generous in saying that our control can extend minutely into the future. Definitely no further than today. We can put things into motion, but that doesn't mean we can assure their arrival. Many people might point to the successful plans they've made, implemented, and fulfilled as a counter to this idea. My response would be to point to all the failures and disappointments in their lives and ask where those fit into a plan. A phrase I smile at every time I hear it is that everything happens for a reason. People bring this out when those unscheduled and unpleasant detours happen in life. I see it as Monday morning quarterbacking to apply something meaningful and positive to a situation because the person is too scared to be in the hands of fate. Logic tells me that since they can't identify the reason that they are not the creator of the reason and that they must not be in control of the reason. 

    Take the time right now to look from the moment you were born to the moment you will die and ask yourself how much control you have over all this. Look at the nature of people, objects, and opinion. Do these things last long in whole scheme of things and can you bend them to your will? Now look into your own head and realize that you have dominion. Here is where you are master. Seize the reins where you can find them! I think you will find that when you begin to master this domain that you won't crave mastery anywhere else as you begin to realize that one precludes the other.