The limit of my patience

    As someone who prefers to be in a leadership position whenever I can, I've learned that the easiest way for me to simply lose my patience is when trying to accomplish something collaboratively. I can understand when people don't execute plans properly. This type of mistake is expected and unavoidable. The mistake that seems to develop the most friction for me is when people are unable to analyze and synthesize why a certain course of action is preferable or why we should be focusing on certain goals rather than others.

    This seems to come back to the never ending battle between emotion and logic. Albeit, there are certain people who just fail at stringing logical premises and conclusion together. But really, after a few attempts at trying to enlighten them, I'm going to move forward from this person. It's the person who I know is capable of grasping arguments that disturbs me and holds onto false ones because of emotional ties.

     I watched this episode of House M.D. (which I enjoy simply for the clever ways he employs logic in order to be a first class asshole) in which House and his girlfriend have some static in their relationship because she caught him lying to her in order to do his job. The crux of his argument being that everyone lies so there's no good reason to get overly worked up about something you undoubtedly do to others. It has a mildly stoic ring to it. Scenes later, he catches her in a lie about her past. At this point, he feels vindicated in having proven his point since he has now lied to her and she has lied to him. He forgives her for her lie, but she's not going along. She's still upset.

     Dramatically but principled, he lies to her yet again and gives her a false apology for having lied to her the first time. It's this type of over complication and necessity for venomous compromise that results from having to appease emotions and not logic that really deflates me at times. As much as I try and want to be connected to other people, these situations leave me feeling high degrees of isolation.

A tribute to George

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7f0GStBCeUU&feature=player_embedded

Before I started any kind of study of academic philosophy, I was mostly exposed to certain ideas by pop-philosophers (which these days are mostly comedians). George Carlin being a large intellectual influence merely by his combination of humor and thoughtfulness.

Although I disagree with some of George's motives for taking this stand, I find the result to be brave and admirable.

Philosophical Punch in the Mouth Vol.4

This quote comes from Seneca's essay regarding the virtue of mercy. I've picked this because I am a new teacher and this fairly describes my ideal for classroom management.

"There is the further point that a great many people are capable of returning to virtue's path if punishment is waved. But pardon should not be exercised in an unthinking way; for once the distinction between bad men and good is removed, what follows is confusion and the outbreak of vice; accordingly a wise restraint should be shown, such as is capable of distinguishing between curable characters and ones past hope. The mercy we exercise ought not to be indiscriminate and for all and sundry but it should not be withheld completely; for pardoning all involves no less cruelty than pardoning none. We must preserve a mean; but because equilibrium is not easily achieved, whatever is likely to tilt the balance should incline the scale in the more benign direction."

I have been called too nice as a professional and maybe I am not reaching a proper equilibrium, but this is because I continually incline to that benign direction.

Emotionalism

    Before I get into reasoning, I'll just declare that I don't want to be an emotional person. The fewer emotions I can have, the better. I have no expectation of this happening in my lifetime, but I keep it as a personal goal. For people in mindsets other than the Stoic or perhaps Buddhist (the eastern cousin of Stoicism) way of thinking, this seems ludicrous, dangerous, or perhaps cowardly. I've spent my entire life in a shroud of rubberized feelings bouncing up/down/left/right and mostly in circles. I can't speak for anyone, but I don't see much different in the shared lives of those around me.

    My perception is that we have three states. Good feelings, bad feelings, and no feelings. However, good and bad feelings are in one dimension of existence and no feelings is in another. What I mean is that the good and bad feelings have a special relationship. They play off each other and depend on each other. They form a necessary dichotomy. We misuse impressions to create a bad feeling and when the fog is lifted from our mistake it is transformed into a good feeling. Similarly, we push ourselves to emotional highs regarding the objects of our lives and often come into a crash.

    The no feeling dimension is rejected for the same reason we fear most things, their being foreign. Our proclivity towards understanding puts us at odds with it. I'm hardly an expert, but I feel like there are moments where I can catch a glimpse of what it is like. It doesn't feel all that pleasurable like a state of bliss. It just feels very calm and authentic. I think we can stumble into it at times, but our untamed feelings are too strong to leave us there for long.

    The first problem I have with excess feeling all the time is that I barely get to live my life in the moment because I'm constantly having to fend off these voices trying to persuade me of what to do and what to think. Can't my mind know what's a natural way to live without these constant feelings?

Surrender

   As I've been honing my Stoic thinking process, the idea of surrender has thrust itself in my consciousness. Without delving too deep into this idea, let me show how I've begun to do it. Imagine a situation comes along where I make an incorrect judgement and feel the resulting emotion inside. My problem in the past is that I've dwelt on the mistake and feeling after they happen.

   The truth is that I was meant to make that mistake and feel that emotion because I had not corrected my thinking beforehand. (And sometimes your imagination just hurls false judgements upon you!) So instead of beating myself up, I am now trying to simply surrender to those thoughts/feelings and allow them to process and move along. This allows me to move forward with time and keep my mind clear.

    The lesson for me being that we can't avoid the backlash for living in discord with our nature. So just surrender to the consequences. What else can you do? If you don't wish to go down that path again, then set your mind to become what it wasn't before that happened.

Philosophical Punch in the Mouth Vol.3

From Epictetus' Discourses, Book 4  1:99-106

- 'How do you mean, attach himself?' So that whatever god wills, he wills too, and what god does not will, he does not will either. 'How, then, can this be achieved?' - Why, how otherwise than by considering god's purposes and his governance? What has he given to me to by my own and subject to my own authority? What has he reserved for himself? He has given to me whatever lies within the sphere of choice, and made that over to me free from all hindrance and restraint. This body formed of clay, how could he make that free from hindrance? And so he has made subject to the circulation of the universe my property, my furnishings, my house, my children, my wife. Why, then, shall I fight against god? Why do I will what is outside the reach of my will, to possess absolutely what is not granted to me absolutely? So how long shall I possess them? As they were granted to me, and for as long as possible. But he who gave takes away again. Why, then, do I resist? Not to say that I shall be a fool contending with one stronger than myself; but prior to that, I shall be doing wrong. For where did I get things when I came into the world? My father gave them to me. And who gave them to him? And who made the sun, who the fruits, who the seasons, and who the fellowship and intercommunion between men? And then, when you have received everything, even your very self, from another, are you angry with the giver and do you reproach him if he takes anything away from you? Who are you, and for what purpose have you come? Was it not he who brought you here? Was it not he who showed you the light? Has he not given you fellow-workers? Has he not given you senses? Has he not given you reason? And as what did he bring you here? Was it not as a mortal? Was it not as one who would live, with a little portion of flesh, upon this earth, and behold his governance and take part with him, for a short time, in his pageant and his festival? Are you not willing, then, for the time that is granted to you, to behold his pageant and his solemn assembly, and then, when he leads you out, will you not pass on your way, after paying him obeisance and offering him thanksgiving for what you have heard and what you have seen? 'No, but I wanted to enjoy the festival still longer.' So would initiates into the Mysteries like to be longer in their initiation, so perhaps would the spectators at Olympia like to see more athletes. But the festival is over. Leave it and depart like a grateful and modest person; make room for others. Others too must be born, as you were, and when they are born must have land and houses and the necessities of life. But if those who come first do not withdraw, what room is there left? Why are you insatiable? Why are you never satisfied? Why do you crowd the world?

A couple points:

1) I am a Pantheistic Stoic in that wherever I see God in Stoic text I just substitute Universe.

2) I see so many Stoic ideas in Christianity that it sometimes seems more than just a coincidence. IE: "But he who gave takes away again." (The lord giveth and the lord taketh away)

3) I love the oratory style of Epictetus. He pins you in a corner with rapid fire questioning that you simply don't have a counter answer for. 

Pain Analogy

     Pain. It needs no introduction. I just thought of an interesting way to think of it. Imagine a gasoline can or water can for plants. The can represents an incident of some kind that inspires pain. The water of the can represents the accumulated pain of that incident. The flow of the water out of the bucket represents the intensity of our pain. If we take some of the worst events of our lives, we will imagine that bucket being filled to the brim. Take that bucket and start pouring the liquid out of the spigot.

    Initially, the water flows out in a large and unsteady stream. The water can be whitish from all the air and jostling. Sometimes it will flow out in chunks because of air displacement. This opening period is when you feel the full fury and violence of the pain. 

    Then the water calms somewhat. However, there is still a very reliable and steady stream. You can see the transparency of the water as the flow remains consistent and strong. At this point in the pain game, people can get frustrated because of the persistence of sensation. There have been times in my life when I've wondered when it might end. 

    The next phase is when we still have a transparent stream but it breaks up into droplets towards the end. This signifies to me the light at the end of the tunnel where relief can be found.

    The second to last phase is when there are only droplets coming out of the bucket. The pain is just intermittent at this point. Life becomes just a little bit easier.

    And finally, the end has come when you take the bucket and turn it completely upside down to even see if you  can find any water at all. I've come to learn that this is not the time for celebration or satisfaction. Never own up to the fact that your pain is a bad thing. It is simply a challenge. An endurance challenge for the mind. One we can all win.